We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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