Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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