there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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