wanna go halves on a baby?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
