she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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