He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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