...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
