There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Randomize
