I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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