What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
