I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
