If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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