we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
