escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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