They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
