Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
