Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
