im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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