Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
