Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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