There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
