Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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