I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
