If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
