I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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