everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
