idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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