the day after is always just damage control
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
