she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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