i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
