ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish I only lived at night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
