so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
did you just send me my own nude
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
