do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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