He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
