So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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