i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This baby is an asshole
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
