Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
