you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
