Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
