This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
