I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
