This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We need to rekindle our bromance
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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