i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
