hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
