Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
