He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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