This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
