She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
