he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
