We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
