How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
