Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
